018 The Special Needs Family

The Watchman introduces his special needs daughter Megan and shares biblical insight for the special needs family.

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018 The Special Needs Family

Welcome to The Watchman Speaks. I’m your host, Lonnie Richardson.

Today I’m going to discuss something very near and dear to my heart. Today I’m going to discuss the special needs individual and I have a very special guest, my daughter, Megan.

Now Megan is a high functioning autistic. Many has been the time that people have asked me, “What’s wrong with Megan?” My answer is always the same. “There’s nothing wrong with Megan. She is exactly what God created her to be. Megan has autism. What’s your problem?”

You see, to say that Megan has something wrong with her is the same as saying that God has no idea what He’s doing. I’ll prove that to you Scripturally in a few moments but right now I’d like to introduce the first guest on The Watchman Speaks, Miss Megan Richardson. Megan, say hello to all the people out there who are listening.

MEGAN: Hello everyone! My name is Megan! I hope that you enjoy the show!

Okay Megan. Tell everyone how old you are.

MEGAN: I’m thirty five years old.

Good. Good. Do you love Jesus?

MEGAN: Oh yes sir! Very much!

Now Megan, I remember once that you told me that you saw Jesus. Is that right?

MEGAN: Right! I woke up and Jesus was standing in my room.

Did He say anything to you?

MEGAN: Oh yes! He said, “Do not be afraid.”

Really? What happened then. 

MEGAN: He walked out of my room and down the hall. I chased after Him, but I couldn’t catch up to Him. He came down the stairs and He just vanished.

And you’re sure about all this? 

MEGAN: Yes, I’m sure. You believe me don’t you dad?

Of course I believe you. I wish that I could have seen Him too.

MEGAN: Oh yeah! Ha HA!

Okay Megan, thank you for being on the show. I’m certain that everyone has enjoyed hearing about your visit with Jesus.

MEGAN: Okay Dad, I’ve got some chores to do. Uh, can I tell the people good bye?

Sure you can.

MEGAN: Uh Okay. Good bye everybody! (Megan leaves to go upstairs) 

There you have it folks. That was my daughter, Megan, who as I’ve said has autism. And, like I’ve said, many people have asked me, “What’s wrong with Megan?” 

Let me tell you a little bit about Megan. 

The first thing is that she loves others with absolutely no strings attached. She trusts others to a fault, to a point that put’s her safety in danger at times. I watch over Megan carefully that others who would take advantage of her love and trust do not do so or bring harm to her in any way. Her birthday wish for her twelfth birthday was to be friends with the whole world.

The second thing is that Megan possesses the greatest compassion I have ever seen for others who are hurting. She simply cannot bear to see or hear of others who are suffering. She is quick to stop and pray for others. There was a time when Megan fell in the shower and bruised her hip badly. She couldn’t get up. I was at work and my wife called an ambulance to come get Megan to take her to the emergency room. The emergency department at the hospital was full and as the EMT’s rolled Megan through the emergency department the staff was performing CPR, a code, on a homeless person in the hallway. Megan asked what was going on and an EMT told her that the staff was trying to save the person’s life. Megan demanded that the EMT’s stop and allow her to pray for the staff and that person. Even though she was in great pain herself, she had the compassion to stop and pray for others. 

The third thing is that Megan will give you her last dollar if she thinks you need it. I can remember a time when finances were tight in our house, and we couldn’t afford to get Megan something she wanted. I did my best to explain to her that we simply did not have the money at that time to provide her with what she wanted. The little money we had was to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. After a short while, Megan presented me with her piggy bank, offering her life’s savings to help the household. On the other hand Megan has little sense of value. If she has ten dollars and went into a store to buy a candy bar and the cashier told Megan that the candy bar cost ten dollars then that’s what Megan would pay for it. Her thinking is “I have ten dollars and the cashier has a candy bar. I want a candy bar and the cashier wants ten dollars. That’s a fair trade.” Don’t laugh, it’s actually happened. Yes, there are people in this world that take advantage of the special needs individual. 

So, What’s wrong with Megan? Let’s see. She loves with no strings attached. She has the greatest compassion for others who are hurting that I’ve ever seen, and she’ll give you her last dollar if she thinks you need it. If any of that is “wrong” then sign me up to be wrong!

The two great faults that Megan has is 1. She is brutally honest. In other words she has no concept of being tactful and 2. She is nosy. She wants to know what’s going on and she wants to know all the details of every circumstance and situation.

As a parent of a special needs child, I can tell you that Megan has taught me more about the difficulties of life than I have taught her. There was once a time that my oldest daughter came to me and told me that Megan was in her room crying. She might have ten or eleven years old at the time. Some other kids had been making fun of Megan as she tried to interact with them and they’d rejected her attempts.

She lay there crying, tears streaming down her face, and she asked me, “What did I do? Why don’t they want to be my friends?”

My heart was crushed for her. I had not been popular when I was young and in school. I’d suffered similar rejections growing up. I said, “You didn’t do anything wrong sweetheart. They just don’t understand what a good friend you can be. They don’t understand that you’re just a little different from the rest of the world.” 

When I said that, Megan instantly stopped crying. She sat up and stared directly into my eyes and with all authority and certainty she said, “Dad, I’m not different from the rest of the world. The rest of the world is different from me.”

You talk about a punch in the throat. You talk about feeling one inch tall. My baby girl, my special needs baby girl, had just expressed wisdom and truth so deep, yet so simple, that it was difficult to comprehend at first. She was right. She wasn’t broken. Our society is broken.

As a young man, I once struggled with the fact that I had a special needs daughter. At times I wondered what I had done for God to give me a special needs child. Surely, I had done something. I wondered about how she would ever come to know Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Megan was not always the well-mannered young lady that she is now. There were times in in younger years when she was prone to major outbursts of tantrum like behavior. To say that parenting a special needs child would be an understatement. But over the course of time, with a lot of love, Megan will now present herself as a lady, shake your hand and introduce herself in a ladylike fashion. But it was a long and difficult journey.

I’m going to go into the Bible now and share with you some things that I believe apply to special needs individuals and their families. I wish that I could say that these discoveries are my own and were revealed to my by Holy Spirit, but I’d be lying. No, what I’m going to share is the wisdom I gained from Chuck Swindoll on a radio broadcast, Insight for Living, many years ago. I’ve never met Mr. Swindoll nor have I ever spoken with him on the phone or corresponded with him through any form of mail. I give God the glory that Chuck Swindoll was given what I’m going to share with you and I thank God that He had me turn the radio on that day. Chuck Swindoll’s message that day was entitled, “When God Gives Special Wrapped Gifts.” Or, it was something along those lines. I’ve searched his web site, looking for the message and can’t find it. So, I’ll make the presentation as best I can and pray Me. Swindoll doesn’t sue me. After all Mr. Swindoll, I did give you the credits.

So, let’s begin. I direct you to Psalm 139:13-16

13. For You formed my inward part; You wove me in my mother’s womb. 

14. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.

15. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;

16. You eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.

God created Megan exactly as He intended her to be. “Oops” is not in God’s vocabulary. God does not make mistakes. To say that there is something “wrong” with Megan is saying that God does not know what he is doing. She is skillfully and wonderfully made. God saw her before the day of her conception. And in His book were written all her days when she had not seen the first one. 

Psalm 127:3-5

3. Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

4. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.

5. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies at the gates.

Megan is truly a gift from God. She is the fruit of the womb and all children are a reward. I am not ashamed of Megan and I will meet her enemies at the gate fearlessly. God gave me Megan so that I can be stronger. So that I have the courage to speak for those who are unable to speak for themselves. To administer justice on behalf of those whom justice is denied.

You see, God is sovereign over all things. Isaiah 45:5-7

5. “I am the Lord, and there is no other; Besides Me there is no God. I will gird you, though you have not known Me;

6. That men may know from the rising to the setting of the sun that there is no one besides Me. I am the Lord and there is no other.

7. The One forming light and creating darkness, Causing well-being and creating calamity. I am the Lord who does all these.

For me to question God’s sovereignty in my life or Megan’s life when God is sovereign over all is nullifying and or ignoring the authority of God. May it never be! 

But let’s look more closely at Isaiah 45:9-10

9. “Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker – an earthenware vessel among vessels of the earth! Will the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you doing?’ Or the thing you are making say, ‘He has no hands?’

10. Woe to him who says to a father , ‘What are you begetting?’ Or to a woman, ‘To what are you giving birth?’

Wow! You want to talk about a reprimand? You want to talk about correction? I got a whole fistful of correction from that passage. You don’t question God about the gifts He gives in specially wrapped packages. He knows what He is doing. He has a plan. Even more, it is an injustice to a parent to ask them what is wrong with their child and it is a slap in God’s face. Don’t do that! Be very careful!

Now let’s cruise over into Hebrews 13:2, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”

Now that may not be directly linked to the special needs individual, but I believe it applies to an extent. You see, much of society rejects people like my Megan whether they be strangers or not. Usually, people like Megan are strangers because our society does not care to get to know them. They are afraid. By the way, that homeless person that Megan prayed for in the emergency department didn’t die. Just have to wonder if that person would have rejected Megan’s prayers had they known that she was autistic.

Most individuals with so called special needs, like Megan, tend to operate on levels considered as childlike. Jesus Said in Matthew 19:14, Mark 10:14, and Luke 18:16 something to the effect, “Don’t stop the children from coming to ME! For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Now imagine, Jesus was talking about children and their childlike faith and their innocence. How happy do you think that Jesus would be if these so called “special needs” individuals with treated unjustly?

In Mark 9:42 Jesus Said, “Whoever causes on of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea.”

Matthew 18:6 Jesus said, “but whoever causes on of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”

These are grave warnings to any who would dare to mislead or harm one of childlike faith as theirs is the highest rank in the kingdom of God. Think about that for a moment. I have no doubt that when Megan and I meet Jesus upon His return, Megan will not be known as “Lonnie’s daughter”. Instead, I’ll consider it an honor and a privilege to be known as Megan’s dad. 

Now comes the 64 million dollar question. Why does God create the special needs individual?

No one knows. I don’t know. Believe me, I’ve asked. But in Romans 11 Paul talks about how God has not rejected His people. In that chapter there are two verses that have always rung my bell when I ask for answers and receive none.

Romans 11:33-34 

33. “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His Ways.

34. For who has known the mind of the Lord or who became His counselor?”

Sometimes God does something and we just don’t know why. Perhaps it’s another thing to just accept in faith. 

If any of you out there have a special needs individual, a gift that God gave in special wrapping, or if you have a family member with special needs or if you just know someone with a special needs family member, please, let them know that they all have a place in The Old Watchman’s heart and that they have a place in God’s heart. God has not abandoned them. 

Is life sometimes more difficult? Yes.

Is it anything that can’t be overcome? No.

Let me say that the divorce rate in families with special needs children is alarmingly greater than in families without. Why? Because someone either cannot or will not cope. They don’t understand the blessing they have been presented with. I’d dare say that they have not as yet surrendered all, including the special needs loved one to God.

It’s difficult at times. Yeah I know. It’s hard. Yeah, I know. Is it worth it in the long haul? Absolutely. God never intended for special needs families to split up. Don’t believe it. It is the work of the devil that attacks the foundations of the nuclear family. He wants to destroy the family. He believes that if He can do that, he will eventually destroy the church.

You know what? He’s got a good head start. There’s just one problem with that. Jesus said in Mathew 16:18 “I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.”

Therein, we all have hope.

I am The Old Watchman, Ezekiel. Families with special needs children, my prayers are with you. For the rest of you, you have been warned!

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